*Devil Ben: Girls!!
Ben : I thought I said no prizes for gues..what the..who the heck are you? Wheres the other guy?
Angel Ben: Here.
Ben : What the..you?! wheres the other guy?
Angel Ben: Who? Your inner voice? He bailed*
You know, the days when you have a song stuck in your head and you can't get it out though I can't quite remember the last time I had one in a long time..hmm
*Flashback...Chung Ling High School traditional ahem birthday ahem celebration on 13th August 2007, Ben is trapped by more than just a few guys and then pants come off. Oddly and fittingly, Simple Plan's Untitled was stuck in his head. How could this happen to me? I've made my mistakes..----shakes head violently to get horrible images out of head*
Anyhuu being on a study hiatus for 6 months can do things to your memory even to your best subject. Mdm. Sim asks the class which group of gases all exists as diatomic molecules and I had no idea and the only thing I was getting in my head waS:" Deck the halls with smiling faces..tralalalala..lalalala. Hmm..odd. And that was pretty much the story of the day. Mr. Leong asks how do you calculate the possible subsets given the items in a universal set. Inside Ben's head:"Deck the halls with smiling faces..tralalalala..lalalala.." Oddly somehow, everytime a teacher asked a question that I didn't know, I keep getting a mental picture of gnomes grinning stupidly at me with that song in my head as I sat there clueless. Man, Day One was funky.
Day Two of school I had class monitor interview after recess. The time before that, I spent mostly doing bits and pieces of chemistry questions and once I got nowhere in that, I did the only thing I could have possibly done when faced with boredom, drowsiness and difficult chemistry questions, I started imagining the stuff I would do if I was invisible. *Head tilts to the left and mind drifts off to happy place..chuckles and proceeds to give devil Ben who had a stupid grin on his face a high five*
After recess, I had class monitor interview.
Interviewer: Please introduce yourself.
What I said: My name is Benedict Andrew Anthony. I'm studying in L6B4.
What I wanted to say: My name is Benedict Andrew Anthony and if you smirk at my name I'm gonna whup your ass cause I don't take cues from a pint sized kid who drew his self esteem from his necktie.
Interviewer: What characteristics do you think a good monitor possesses?
What I said: Someone who can cooperate with students and teachers..
What I wanted to say: *in a kickass american accent* Its pretty simple really. Someone who is better than you would probably make the cut or do they appoint nutcases like yourself these days?
Interviewer: You are used to all boy school, now that there are girls, what would you do if a girl and a boy got in a quarrel?
What I said: Solve it the same way like last time, it doesn't mean that the way of doing things would be different now that there are girls.
What I wanted to say: Well..*fake deep in thought expression on face and then...* It all depends on the whether the girl is hot or not cause we all help the damsel in distress otherwise I'm rooting for my homie.
Interviewer:What if a girl and a girl quarrel?
What I said: It also be the same.
What I wanted to say: *Makes an exaggerated grin* Are you kidding me? Run out to the class corridor and yell:" Catfight!!!" Then return with all my friends and do a Kelso (That 70s Show) impression, saying:" OKOK..heres what you do..you hair pull and you shirt rip!"
*Angel Ben & Devil Ben: Sigh!
Ben: What? I'm just writing for humor purposes..I'm not really like that!!
Angel Ben & Devil Ben: Sigh!
Ben: Really!!
Mom: Ben, you're 18..stop talking to yourself*
Day Three, first period Mr. CKK for general studies. He was already pretty darn pissed off when he came in, maybe he finally looked in the mirror the night before and discovered the "Grow Your Hair Fast Today - And The Girls Will Not Be Able to Keep You at Bay" cream he has been using for the past 20 year has not worked. Poor baldie. What a confused old lad. He even gave his handphone number to my girl classmates...LOL trying to recapture the smooth talking,womanizing, I-still-had-hair days are we, Mr. C? Haha..dream on, baldie, dream on....
Day Four, heres what happened. I forgot I had MUET presentation today!!! * A sudden flash of images of a deer with Ben's head crossing the road and staring wide-eyed at an oncoming truck.*
What that notion again, like a deer in headlights? So I prepared my MUET presentation all in my head during recess. I felt it was darn awesome actually.
"Good morning everybody. Unfortunately, I did not prepare anything today so lets just say *In Indian Accent* My name is Benedict Andrew Anthony. Ok, thats all you need to know. Seeing you"
Ok, I'm kidding...heres the real thing.
"Good morning everybody. Unfortunately, I don't have anything about endangered turtle nor China. Never been to China. So for my MUET presentation, I'm gonna do the most interesting topic I have found so far, Me!! Ok, my name is Benedict Andrew Anthony. So that there is no confusion, I'm half indian and half chinese. But whenever I go around, people always takes me to be Malay. But of course, there are exceptions, my form 2 history teacher did this. *Imitates teacher looking at name list* Benedict Andrew Anthony? Are you Portuguese? Yeah, its true. The messed up part is no one ever takes me to be indian or chinese. I once went to restaurant with my parents and you know, its confusing enough that my parents are indian and chinese and then I come along, you know, the "Malay". Once, I came to the table later than my parents, the waiter told me that the table was taken and I can sit at the next table and I had to convince him that I was their son.
You think thats messed up? Well, I don't speak tamil, nada, nil. Well, I know enough tamil to get me in trouble but thats it. If you spend some time at your grandparents place, you watch your fair share of tamil movies. The thing I learnt about Indians from those movies is that they are very creative and strong people. I tell you why. In tamil movies, a guy and a girl you know they will fall in love and then somehow they will wander to a mountain and then they find a tree, you know. They are strong cause in the movies when they fight, before they land a punch, they would already be a loud "dush". Yeah huh. And its very hard to kill indians, you shoot one in the heart, and he would wander from New Delhi all the way to Calcutta before finally dying. You know, he would be dying all the way, he can also manages to pull in a song too. *Imitates dying indian walking and makes indistinct tamil sounding sound to imitate singing*
The thing all Indians gotta do is go to Italy man, you know mess them up a bit. You see, the Italians think Indians are Italians. *shrugs*And you know, being indian, it was kinda cool to be Italian for a while you know. Then, the italians starts speaking Italian to you. And you would just look really retarded you know. *Mumbles in italian....sie(understand in italian)?* Haha..you si(in hokkien) man. When you finally tell him you're Indian, he would be shocked you know, like you told him you were a freaking ghost or something.*Imitates shocked Italian: Indiano? No Indiano?*
The another thing about me is I love sports, especially tennis. In a way sports is like studies, you have concentrate on every detail like you concentrate on every ball, every shot. And by putting your heart into what you do is the only way you will succeed.Thank you."
Not bad for a recess preparation eh? And by not bad, I mean pretty darn awesome. I did forget the Italy part, ah wasted, that was the bomb man, I loved that part. I felt nice that my classmates laughed during my presentation.
Day 5, TGIF indeed!!! I realise something though, I have been pretty clumsy lately.
* Shaggy's Mr Bombastic plays in the background.
Ben knocks on the edge of his table and almost falls.
Ben gets his ankles stuck in the straps of his bag and almost trips.
Ben loses the keys of his classes and then finds it in the next class.
Ben gets his tie stuck on his forehead while trying to get it off. (No kidding!)
Ben gets his finger stuck in a bottle handle and panicks.
Ben knocks his table and drops his water bottle when the teachers asks if anybody knows a certain girl and then everybody thinks he knows her that why he had such a big reaction to the name.
Ben makes odd exclamations and sounds while doing his homework.
Ben loses his car keys and finds it in his pocket.
Ben tries to open the door while carrying books with two hands. Classmate Audrey who was carrying many more books than he was, shifts it to one hand and opens the door with the other.*
Yeah, pretty darn indeed. Guess I signed the week off as the class' goofball. Awesome. Just freaking awesome.
